Funny Story of the Week

Bala suggests that I add a “Funny Story of the Week” category in order to boost readership. I don’t know if I can come up with a funny story every week, but I have created a Humor category; here’s this week’s entry:

Not long ago, we had a “Bring Your Child to Work” day at my office, and we had a barbecue for the kids. I was eating at a table with some boys, so we started telling kids’ jokes. At one point I asked, “What's round and white and lifts weights?” (Correct answer: Extra-strength aspirin.) One of the boys looked at me and answered, “You!”

  2 Jan 06 8:11 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Blog, Humor

Mistaken Identity

This is too funny.

Apparently, there is a “glamour” photographer who shares my name. (Be careful following those links; they may not be safe for workplace viewing!) Occasionally I receive e-mail — generally consisting of a young, hopeful model’s portfolio — intended for this other Phil Weber.

Not that I’m complaining: I could be getting this guy’s e-mail!

 24 May 05 11:47 AM · Comments (2) · Tags: Humor

I must be doing it wrong...

Jim Blizzard seems to enjoy instant messaging way more than I do!

 23 Sep 04 11:40 AM · Comments (0) · Tags: Humor

Anatomical Humor and Microsoft Recruiting

OK, sorry if I disturbed anyone with my anatomically-correct cycling experiences. It's just that it worked out so well when Rory did it; I expect a call from Microsoft Recruiting any day now.

 22 Sep 04 5:51 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Humor, Microsoft

Great Moments in Cycling, Vol. 2

For Cycle Oregon: The Weekend, we camped at Sisters Junior High School, showering in the gym locker room. The showers, therefore, were a prison-like communal affair. By the time I finished the ride on Saturday afternoon, the locker room was full of paunchy middle-aged men (the young, fit men, I assume, having finished much earlier), trying to avoid eye contact. We'd all spent the past 6 or more hours crammed into spandex cycling shorts; on top of that, there was no hot water. As you might imagine (or try desperately not to), none of us looked our best.

I finished my cold shower in record time. As I made my way toward the lockers across the wet, soapy concrete floor, my feet suddenly slipped out from under me, and I lay spread-eagle, naked, in front of a dozen farmer-tanned new friends.

The funny thing, in retrospect (I didn't laugh at the time), was the reaction. As I hit the floor, I could hear several of them groan sympathetically -- "Owwww!" -- but as they inquired as to my well-being, they all maintained a healthy distance: "Are you OK... over there?" Yes, I'm fine, and thank you for not touching me. :-)

 21 Sep 04 5:51 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Cycling, Humor

Great Moments in Cycling, Vol. 1

In June, a 20-mile training ride took me through North Portland, one of Portland's more ethnically-diverse neighborhoods. At one point, I experienced some groinal discomfort, so I reached down and, uh... put my affairs in order.

As I stopped at the next signal, a young African-American woman rolled down her window, stuck her head out and asked, "What was you diggin' fo'?"

I just smiled and ran the light. :-)

 21 Sep 04 5:41 PM · Comments (2) · Tags: Cycling, Humor

Life's Unanswered Questions

Why don't posts like this:

Programming with the Cryptography APIs
Join Microsoft experts on June 23rd, 2004 to ask questions about techniques and best practices in using the Cryptographic APIs to help secure your applications. Let us know what changes you would like to see in the CryptoAPI and its documentation on MSDN.

look like this?

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Ysyt Vy6psos9n 8jr8pno st Ymt8 GFp7, GggE ns ]ow qm8onysto ]<smn n86ztyqm8o ]t7 <8on rp]6ny68o yt moyt0 nz8 >pirns0p]rzy6 .SZo ns z8vr o86mp8 ismp ]rrvy6]nystoA W8n mo wtsk kz]n 6z]t08o ism ksmv7 vyw8 ns o88 yt nz8 >pirns.SZ ]t7 yno 7s6mu8tn]nyst st VP5UA

  8 Jul 04 10:11 AM · Comments (0) · Tags: Humor

"Are you a Tech Girl?"

Hmm... I'm not sure what to make of this:

You must be over 18.
You can be described as a "Tech Girl," "Geek Chick" or "Network Ops Cutie."
You need a pleasant speaking voice and able to talk "tech."
Calls can become sensual so you need to be OK with that.
Be willing to take calls from those who find your certifications very sexy.

 28 Jun 04 2:21 PM · Comments (1) · Tags: Humor

New Chinese MSN Messenger Released

Source: Woodster.com, 9 May 2003

 21 May 03 3:56 AM · Comments (0) · Tags: Humor

Born to Boycott

I loved SNL's spot-on parody last night of patriotically-motivated boycotts: "Cuz it ain't whatcha do to show yer love for this country: It's whatcha don't do to show yer hate for those who don't show their love for this country."

  6 Apr 03 2:10 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Humor