Call me "Cosmo"

Mr. Leland: I'm sorry, there's just no way that we can keep you on.
Kramer: I don't even really work here!
Mr. Leland: That's what makes this so difficult.

Proof that my life is actually a Seinfeld episode: I've been fired from a volunteer job.

Since 1995, I've been designated a Microsoft Visual Basic MVP, based on technical assistance I've offered in various online communities. Most recently, I've been active in the DevX Technical Forums.

The arbiters of the MVP designation, however, grade on a curve. Though my online activities have remained relatively constant over the past few years, they apparently no longer qualify as "outstanding." When I pointed out that I have posted over 1,000 messages to the DevX Forums over the past 10 months, my MVP "Buddy" replied that some other MVPs have posted over 4,000 messages during that same period. (To which I say, "Go outside!" Who are these people? ;-)

I'm not bitter; I'll just work a little harder and earn back my title. You can help: Post your VB/C#/ASP.NET questions to the DevX Forums or as comments to this blog.

P.S. -- Adding insult to injury, at the conclusion of our last conversation, my MVP "Buddy" added, "...and Betsy asked me to tell you to quit stalking her!" :-)

 23 Sep 04 6:28 PM · Comments (5) · Tags: Microsoft

Lunch with Betsy and Duncan

Poor Betsy Aoki: I think my Betsy Fan Club initiative creeped her out. All I meant was that I thoroughly enjoy her online persona -- it's a breath of fresh air among the mostly humorless blogs to which I subscribe -- and I wanted her to know that her efforts are appreciated. (I could have proposed a Rory fan club for the same reason, but he has more than enough fans already, and I find him far less attractive.) Unfortunately, I may have been excessively effusive (in retrospect, I concede that my marriage proposal was over the line ;-) and come off as a bit of a wacko.

To her credit, Betsy didn't decline to meet me for lunch when I visited Redmond a few weeks ago, but she did bring along a bodyguard. I took my meds, though, and hopefully the experience was a pleasant one for all concerned. Betsy was even gracious enough to chronicle the event on her weblog, going so far as to declare me "quite normal" (my therapist was thrilled!)

So, thanks, Betsy! I'm still a fan, not at all underwhelmed. And I promise to honor the restraining order.

 23 Sep 04 5:28 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Microsoft

I must be doing it wrong...

Jim Blizzard seems to enjoy instant messaging way more than I do!

 23 Sep 04 11:40 AM · Comments (0) · Tags: Humor

Goal 1, Mission 0

For much of the past five years, I've been a remote employee working from home. While I certainly enjoyed the flexible hours and lack of commute, I did occasionally miss interaction with coworkers. No longer...

One of the benefits of my new job is an informal Professional Development Book Club: Each week (more or less), we read a chapter of a popular business book (we're currently working through The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People), then discuss it over lunch.

During a recent discussion of Habit 2 ("Begin with the End in Mind"), my friend Bala shared this article from Fast Company magazine. I'm sure it will resonate with many of us, particularly anyone who has worked on a dysfunctional software development project.

 22 Sep 04 6:37 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Career

How to get someone to answer your question

Awesome, devious tip from KC Lemson about how to take advantage of technical people's egos to get the information you need.

 22 Sep 04 6:18 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Geek

Anatomical Humor and Microsoft Recruiting

OK, sorry if I disturbed anyone with my anatomically-correct cycling experiences. It's just that it worked out so well when Rory did it; I expect a call from Microsoft Recruiting any day now.

 22 Sep 04 5:51 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Humor, Microsoft

Great Moments in Cycling, Vol. 2

For Cycle Oregon: The Weekend, we camped at Sisters Junior High School, showering in the gym locker room. The showers, therefore, were a prison-like communal affair. By the time I finished the ride on Saturday afternoon, the locker room was full of paunchy middle-aged men (the young, fit men, I assume, having finished much earlier), trying to avoid eye contact. We'd all spent the past 6 or more hours crammed into spandex cycling shorts; on top of that, there was no hot water. As you might imagine (or try desperately not to), none of us looked our best.

I finished my cold shower in record time. As I made my way toward the lockers across the wet, soapy concrete floor, my feet suddenly slipped out from under me, and I lay spread-eagle, naked, in front of a dozen farmer-tanned new friends.

The funny thing, in retrospect (I didn't laugh at the time), was the reaction. As I hit the floor, I could hear several of them groan sympathetically -- "Owwww!" -- but as they inquired as to my well-being, they all maintained a healthy distance: "Are you OK... over there?" Yes, I'm fine, and thank you for not touching me. :-)

 21 Sep 04 5:51 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Cycling, Humor

Great Moments in Cycling, Vol. 1

In June, a 20-mile training ride took me through North Portland, one of Portland's more ethnically-diverse neighborhoods. At one point, I experienced some groinal discomfort, so I reached down and, uh... put my affairs in order.

As I stopped at the next signal, a young African-American woman rolled down her window, stuck her head out and asked, "What was you diggin' fo'?"

I just smiled and ran the light. :-)

 21 Sep 04 5:41 PM · Comments (2) · Tags: Cycling, Humor

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Last day of Summer! For those of you who care (Hi, Mom!), here's what I've been up to:

• Work: I was laid off on May 21, so I spent most of June looking for a new job. Received two offers during the third week of June; accepted a position as a support engineer with Corillian Corporation. (We still have an open position, by the way, so if you know C#, VB, SQL Server, ASP/ASP.NET, XML, Javascript, DCOM, systems troubleshooting and Star Trek trivia, send me a résumé.) Didn't start the new job until July 12, however, because I was scheduled to go on...
• Vacation: Went to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada to visit my wife's family and friends. It was nice to see everyone again; I hadn't been there for over 10 years!
• Cycling: Did Cycle Oregon: The Weekend in mid-July: 120 miles over two days. Beautiful scenery and great company, but it was over 100 degrees that Saturday, which made the 75 miles we rode that day feel like a hundred. The Vine Ride, in August, was less arduous: my butt gave out before my legs did.
• Music: I can go years without seeing a concert, then I'll see four in as many months. So far this year I've seen Don Henley, Prince and Tears for Fears; I'll see Sting on Oct. 7. I've also been playing bass more regularly: Met some fellow musicians at work and have gotten in touch with my inner Tito (Puente, not Jackson).

 21 Sep 04 5:15 PM · Comments (0) · Tags: Career, Cycling, Personal